Fildy Bejaoui

This type of argument and line of thinking is typical of trauma victims who have been hurt profoundly. You come to think you have been singled out by life, that the universe/god/life, an external entity, has forsaken us.

This way of thinking happens because we know instinctively that nothing is random in existence. And this is also propelled by the asking of the question “why,” at the bottom of which hide wanting to find an explanation that can justify what is happening.

Especially when we understand that, the universe has incredible precision in the scenarios it orchestrates, which end up hitting us where it needs to in our emotional reasoning, to regurgitate certain specific things from us. Therefore, due to its razor-sharp precision, and the pit of despair we can feel sitting right in the seat of something we want so profoundly, we understand that we are like lambs who have been dragged to the slaughter. Because there would have been ways, cosmically, to avoid all that.

So we think that it was orchestrated on purpose. Because we understand there is no other way to explain the kind of intelligence that went behind the design of our lives, behind the universal scene.

There are some thoughts, as in ideas, and thus statements, we have and make, that are inaccurate, and the giveaway of that should be that it feels off and wrong on the inside when speaking it. Here are some of them:

• “There aren’t any reasons why I’m suffering” (while looking for a global, bigger picture reason, not to be confused with “nothing justifies my being hurt” which is actually a good -as in accurate- thought.)
• “Only good people suffer.”
• “I’m not meant to be happy.”

If you’d like, feel free to add how you’ve felt too in the comments, and I will add your statement to this list with credits to you.

These are broad statements about the generality of life, that are misguidedly concluded in-lieu of the actual truth of the situation and of what it means about life.

That is because on the moment, the answer to the “why” question isn’t immediately obvious to most people (if not all, dare I say, feel free to comment if you have experienced otherwise).

But then, on its lower levels, this state of suffering is always about a certain sense of entitlement that people have. For survival’s sake, we do one of two things:

• pit ourselves as the victims of life, and wear our victimhood as a badge of pride
• slump down and give up on everything

The sense of entitlement masks actual reflection on one’s circumstances, the conclusions to which can be accessed inside. But because people are too busy sitting in that stance, they miss out on spotting it internally. -> they miss out on the time reflecting that can allow the finding of the answer.

⇾ These are not the only things (here, thoughts or state of mind) that prevent consciousness or one’s mind to find explanations.

But the truth is way more complex than that.

Your life circumstances are not about punishment or suffering, because the truth is that nobody cares about you in that sense, especially not enough to single you out like that. You are not being specifically targeted. You are not special because you suffered. Not in the sense that your suffering doesn’t matter or isn’t valuable, but in the sense that the entire point of life is to be put through the grinder, and to be alive is to experience suffering. And I mean that in a very neutral way.

People will often scream bloody outrage when being told this. That is because people enjoy playing the victim to self-soothe. They will think they are entitled to being oblivious because they are offended. In truth, they are just wasting their time, because they accomplish nothing with this approach.

This approach specifically is a lower level response, not quite a false solution, but an initial response one has, which one can spend quite a lot of time dwelling on before being willing to admit to what is happening under it. It’s a way to get side-tracked.

It’s also because looking for the bigger picture can make one feel small and meaningless. To reach for the bigger picture, in a way, is to detach from one’s self. That’s what it can feel like, at least. Like our excess-dwelling over our own suffering is a way to nurture it, rather than to abandon it by turning upward. But turning upward is a must for resolution.

People skip over the real meaning behind their suffering too quickly, because access to the real meaning gets covered up incredibly fast by misunderstanding.

The trouble is, even people who approach their own suffering with humility, who accepted their life or didn’t question (read: resent) existence for having put it through the grinder, still experience a profound loss of faith in existence.

I’ve written “god”, in the title. As you may know, I teach that god doesn’t exist, and what does exist is the universe (with “god” being a poor rendition, initial low understanding of what the universe is). But in this instance this doesn’t matter, because religious or not, we all mean the same thing. That a third party, an external sentient entity should have intervened before we ended up “placed” in the environment we grew up in. We are all referring to the same concept.

This loss of faith, therefore, is universal, and is a common experience regardless of what one calls the universe, whether that’s “god”, or like me, “the vibes”.

It’s much faster, better and productive to approach your life and circumstances and the consequences of your suffering from a rational standpoint. Meaning, by asking one’s self the questions: – why has this happened, what is this telling me about myself, what is it telling me about life.

Through understanding, genuine and objective understanding, we can transform suffering, and quit being in pain faster, because we give it an explanation. But those who are lost pointing fingers at a higher entity are not getting closer to the answers, and thus, to completion.

That’s not to imply the part of you that is defeated and heartbroken at your suffering can’t take its time to sit, lay down, and grieve for the next ten years if that’s what’s needed. It’s more that the part of you that is busy pointing fingers at some higher entity is wasting its time.

To understand more about how and why suffering occurs, read my article about the vibes, and the universe’s sense of direction.