Every single human being is a self-governed entity. You, are exclusively responsible for yourself. That goes for every single human beings on the planet, including children.

Baseline

When someone gives you advice, unless they are capable of objectivity, which is almost quasi non-existent in human beings, they are a biased entity projecting onto you; they are treating the external trigger as an extension of themselves, and will now give that “person” which is really just now, in their eyes, a conduit for themselves, the type of advice that they would wish to receive.

I’m exceptionally objective (yes, I know, bold claim to make, it is still true) when dealing with people as a counselor because I have universal neutrality, but nevertheless, you need to at all times, when receiving advice from someone else:

• check for biases: is this person speaking to me? Or to themselves?
• are they experienced enough in the subject I want to tackle? Have they solved that issue (not fully required, but a plus)?
• what is their worldview, and how expansive or limited is it? What misunderstandings on life did they fail to flag as a bad belief?

The dead give-away for the right person is that someone will adapt to you and be able to understand that this about you, not about them. You are a whole human and while it’s impossible to ever abandon one’s self, the ability to see and imagine a whole human in itself without external influences is still possible, I hear they call that empathy, I don’t know (this isn’t sarcasm I don’t know if that’s what people label empathy, I call it being neutral).

Whatever they derive out of doing this, since the projection process being absent, for the biased (and we’re all biased), means the removal of one’s self, is specific to the individual (for me, psychological knowledge, which is fundamentally neutral (as in non-personally biased) in nature), but if they can’t do that, toss their useless unable to advise anyone but themselves self out of your “counselor” slot. They will never act as someone who can advise you because they don’t have that capacity.

The person advising you should always, obviously, take responsibility for themselves as well and make sure that what they regurgitate is neutral to you, but as I explain, both members of the mental health fields and members of the spiritual field either mask their inability to do it or are proud of it or don’t even flag it as a problem, but either way they are still incapable of it. You need to be careful who you bother to hire, because people aren’t always what you expect them to be or have in them what you need to be given.

Yes I realise it’s funny I’m warning you about that while trying to get people to hire me, either way, I want you to be happy and not waste your money, but worse than that, your emotional well-being, on either well-meaning morons or just plain morons. Because when you attempt to obtain a thing and meet an obstacle, it chips away at you and in the long-term, it generates depression and leads you to quitting trying to obtain anything (and it’s impossible to live in that state! Say hello to the angst of that position). You don’t want that, you don’t need that, show discernment in who you hire, whatever credentials they flaunt: I don’t care if they went to an Ivy League school (no offense to those schools) or claim to be the most woke seer, triple check that bitch.

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1. Requesting Clarification in Communication

Phrasing, wording, and word-choices, is also both a result of biases, and in the case of deciphering someone’s psychological portrait (emotional reasoning), a lack of understanding of that person.

One thing that happens fairly often is that the person being helped will automatically correct the word choice of the person in front of them, because as someone delivers a speech that is meant to be deciphering of your deeper nature, some people often get it wrong.

When receiving advice through private 1-1 coaching sessions, or when consuming any kind of content intended to be helpful, really, you are:

• strongly encouraged to ask for clarifications on the vocabulary used and its meaning.

As I explain, every single person has a different emotional meaning inputted in their mind for every word, especially as far as abstract concepts are concerned. If a particular word I use, anywhere, with a particular intent derived from my understanding of the word, instantly sounds negative to you, you are strongly encouraged and invited to ask for clarification on that meaning, to check if your definition, and my definition, the one I am putting forward to you, correlate. This is done in order to avoid all misunderstandings possible. Not to mention, it will help because if it stems from an incomplete understanding of something, then it will help with that understanding. From my experience, a lot of people are too preoccupied with finishing their point rather than to listen to input, so the wishable thing to do is for this to turn into a proper, full-on discussion of what is meant by which word.

→ when you do this, I also commit to explaining my point as best as possible. This step is a crucial one in the communication of solutions, because it prompts both parties to narrow down concepts until an acceptable course of action emerges from the discussion. Successful therapy and problem solving cannot occur without this process.

Furthermore, this is a crucial step in therapy as well, because more often than not (I do not have more precise data on this yet), negative meanings are registered by the mind because of negative experiences. One concept may inherently be viewed as negative by you, and thus when involved in the conversation, may be instantly rejected by you. Assessing what meaning is associated with the concept not only contributes to self-understanding and self-discovery, which itself gives way to a sense of direction, but it can help unearth problems, and help with the overall problem-solving purpose of the session. It’s also possible that a concept or idea would be rejected by the mind/you for this reason.

For this reason, you are encouraged to do all this so you may be completely informed, and so that no information delivered is left unclear, imprecise, or poorly defined. At least if you’re offended you have clarity on that and can make an informed decision.

Through this, you may be able to to make conscious decisions for yourself, which brings us back to point 2.

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2. Individual Decision-Making

While I help navigate the subconscious, and translate your subconscious to you, overall help with self-knowledge (self-awareness), etc, the final decision on whether to accept a “diagnosis,” or rather, a solution or statement, is entirely your own. That’s what I mentioned above in the introduction.

This isn’t exactly a legal notice per se, but more of a global thing that extends to the legality of things: you are responsible for yourself, 100%. That’s why I advised you ensure you pick the right person always when seeking advice, because the you know that person won’t risk leading you astray, or risks less to lead you astray.

• if something feels off to you, don’t follow because someone tells you to. What do they know?
• Always make decisions when you’re perfectly clear on all of its emotional implications, and perceived consequences: when you have thought this through.

I know some of our decisions aren’t just decisions, they’re automatic responses and we decide something automatically based on the emotional feedback we get from the outside. It’s a natural thing and kind of impossible to slow down. But, it is possible to analyse it. What I mean by decision, isn’t a physical decision, but rather, and ultimately, don’t make up your mind until you have actually processed everything properly.

This is a slippery slope, because the statement and disclaimer, “Of course, you can do whatever you want,” and other phrases expressing the same sentiment, can sometimes be interpreted as “throw caution to the wind and acting out on whims.” Subconscious decision making, while the only real way to choose life direction, can be muddled when there is negativity introduced in the being. In other words, even when in an healthy, trauma-free state, you are led by your subconscious. But if the wrong life information has been inputted in you (classic exemple: “money is scarce“), you will make decisions according to what has been inputted in your mind, even when that input is incorrect.

The disclaimer that you are alone are responsible for yourself is to mean that, even when everything has been clarified and specified as indicated in point 1, and even after it has been established that you are not following an undesirable course of action due to having experienced negative events through no fault of your own, the final decisions on what to do is yours alone.

-> Before making a decision, whether physical or mental, you must imperatively check with yourself whether the advice received is suitable to you and your circumstances*, whether it accommodates your feelings and your state of mind. Is the advice received acceptable? Is it helping to solve a conundrum and fills that slot appropriately? Does it feel like the solution to the problem? Can you add to the advice, or transform it to suit you and your life even better, through mulling it on your own? Can the advice received work as a form of initial input, that can help you to find and reveal to you your own solution to the problem? Please do not make decisions before having thought it through.

*Again, it is important to check all possible interpretations of this statement and phrasing, because your circumstances may be one way, but your outlook on them may also be of influence, and that outlook, as outlined in point b, may also stem from negative experiences inducing the wrong understanding of life. Analysis of your circumstances, thus, absolutely must happen in tandem with analysis of how you interpret what you see, and how what you see appears to you in terms of what it means.

↳ Listening to properly consider suggestions…

≠ jumping in head first and immediately doing what another person tells you to do.

There’s two responses a person typically has when receiving a suggestion.

if it is the solution, and:

they have no negative registered meaning associated with it, or hurdles standing in the way of it

they accept it on the spot

but if:

they have a negative meaning registered for it, or there is a perceived hurdle/blockage/obstacle standing in the way

they immediately reject it / they softly reject it, with in mind the tiredness the hurdle provokes in them

Short of all of this, if:

the individual is desperate for a solution, and they don’t have either of the above scenarios triggered (which is impossibly rare, I go straight to the point so often and identify the problem so well I go straight to scenario 2 because my skills lead you straight to the core of the issue and what’s standing in your way and because the associations are always bad, because it’s pinpoiting the source of the issue, people always end up going “Oh dear god, no.”), then another possible scenario that can happen is:

• they throw themselves head first into a suggestion received
• or believe what they hear on the spot → because nothing (internal meaning) immediately contradicts the statement put forward

That’s why I say to think it through, whether:

• the automatic meaning is negative
• there is no registered meaning (and thus no reason to reject an input given)
• there’s a vapid instinct to blindly follow what someone says.

Consider what’s being said properly before either accepting it, or rejecting it. Please. This goes with any kind of advice you ever receive from anyone, friend, relative, colleague, partner, counselor, etc.