The Subconscious’ Indirectness, & Attempts at Restoring Wellness
Indirect subconscious techniques are the subconscious’ indirect attempts at obtaining what it wants.
We first set a stage where the subconscious goes after what it wants directly, through asking, demanding, proclaiming, announcing, telling, and speaking. The specific thing to note is the nature of the attempt: it directly surfaces all the back from the depth of the subconscious, into the surface, where then it floods on the outside. You’re a direct current of expression of what your subconscious wants, and it influences everything external about you—what I use in subconscious readings to determine that you’re up to, your face and tone. Because there is directness, you become a conduit for your mind.
Then through repetitive denying, belittling, refusing, bashing, and rejections, the subconscious is repelled away from openness and directness. At the core of the problem is being denied. “Since being open has brought me nothing, then […]”. When someone grapples for something, it’s their mind’s attempt at getting something.
The attempt itself is already a sign of lack. That’s the funny thing. Because when everything goes well in life, there is no need to ask, there is only receiving. To have to ask means to have already found one’s self in an environment that is lacking, that did not naturally give, and it means to have to request, and it means doing so in order to fulfill a lacking in the environment; it’s how the mind notes that something is amiss, and this is its attempt at restoring the world back to where it can get what it needs. The world outside is not in its proper state, if the individual/consciousness is to be fed what it needs for its well-being.
This is manageable state of duress, because it can be redressed, by asking for what one needs (step described above), but the problem explored in this post arises when asking leads nowhere, either to more ignoring, or more denying, or more rejection.
The mind then no longer believes that it is possible to obtain anything directly. It functions on the basis of “fool me once…”. Asking once or twice openly is the healthy attempt, but if all else fails then indirect subconscious techniques are what a person pushed back into their trenches will resort to. Your subconscious will then phase out of your awareness, to avoid being spotted by your conscious mind, so it can do its job of restoring balance to the being.
That is often why a person has no idea they are doing something, and deny doing something not only because their subconscious refuses/cannot let go of obtaining what it needs, but also because there is no communication between these conscious spaces.
Like all things subconscious, the mind doesn’t like being found out, because having already been thrown off the beaten path of asking for something, it now being indirect because directness didn’t work. If the mind gets rejected now, after it has resorted to being underhanded, it will be/will be registered as another failed attempt at obtaining what one needs, and as I always explain, the goal of life is to obtain what one wants for happiness.
This happens because there is no longer faith in the belief that one may obtain what one needs when it is needed, as it is needed. Remember that a normal environment for an individual, is to naturally have what one needs readily available, and to have to ask is already to exist in a state of semi-lack.
Because we live in a world that is geared not towards self-expression, but towards self-suppression and repression, the world is under and ill-equipped to provide people with a place that is exactly what they need to thrive. (For people who have objections to this, head to “bad beliefs”).
The denial and rejection forces the directness of the request into being repressed. That means your influx of self-expression will remain trapped inside, and will dwell in the subconscious instead of coming out. It means a vibration is being contained, instead of being let out into the world where it can define things. When this happens, this is when indirect subconscious techniques are put into place, as a means to come out of this hiding place (and then restore balance).
The problem is that, the methods now employed, these indirect subconscious techniques, are all indirect, through the backdoor, and will usually lead nowhere.
The easiest way to fix this problem is to go back to the source of what consciousness needs and wants, and give it that directly and unequivocally, so that it is satiated and satisfied, and restored to balance, and provide a supply of that for peace.
Belittling others’ suffering to reaffirm one’s own
One such attempts is to belittle the suffering of others to reaffirm or bring up the gravity of your own, for instance with things like “we’ve all suffered, some of us more than others”, or “X isn’t a lot, because I went through Y”, and so called “trauma olympics”.
In the case of a person who says this, the irony is that a person speaking these phrases has indeed gone through grave suffering, and the mind does this because coming out with grave suffering is a difficult task.
That is because it is difficult for the subtleties of one’s suffering, and the multi-leveled reactions it had on our emotional reasoning, to be conveyed well, with everything that is implied about the impact it had on our well-being. To do so, one must have, if it’s not manually created, the proper setting with the proper people who are properly receptive and actually capable of proper understanding. The mind doesn’t want to risk being misunderstood when it comes out, so it sometimes decide not to come out at all. That is a mistake.
Because in the mean time, other people whose own suffering has had less of a burdening impact on them, will be capable of coming out with that suffering faster, and enable their environment into properly receiving their confession.
This in turn, for the person with grave suffering to discuss, may make them feel upstaged, like their spot, the spot that they were aiming for or waiting for, has been upstaged by somebody else.
Because of the difficulty to find the proper, direct means of achieving emotional recognition from one’s “peers”, from other humans, the mind, frustrated at its own lack of space, takes the shortcut of putting down a person whose world has more space for them to speak up.
It can be subtly done, like making a general statement that “some people have suffered more than others”, not for the objectiveness of it, but as a way to put one’s own grave suffering forward, and most importantly, the consequences and impact it had on us.
For instance, I once talked to someone about having had a panic attack, to the point it alerted my parents with whom I lived at the time, and they had to call an ambulance. This in itself can tick someone who knows me, or who can take a vague guess, that having such a state be displayed to other household members already points at the severity of the moment. But this person looked at me with general confusion, and had no idea what to say. It didn’t stop them, however, from coming out with their own angst story later on that day, which, told to me and another person, was received properly.
There are two things, one problem that arises from this, and another thing that gets highlighted:
- As I’ve said before, suffering isn’t measured on an external scale but on an internal one. Suffering is grave depending on your ability to take it. If your suffering far exceeds your ability to handle it, then you have suffered complex trauma. Period.
That means that this technique invalidates the suffering of others. You do then what is being done to you, you invalidate others because you are being invalidated. You repress others because you have been repressed, you force back people away from speaking, because you are being forced away from speaking. Because there is no stage for you to speak. This is the mark of someone who is erased and doesn’t have their space.
- The second thing is, the unawareness of scales between peoples: a person may speak freely of their own suffering, in a way that takes up the whole space, because they have no awareness that something worse can exist. They cannot envision it, and the undertone of their speech is their incapacity to envision worse. It makes their tone of voice sound dull, a specific voice undertone that is specific to lack of awareness. -> that is because the mind deep down realises it it’s missing something, a piece of the puzzle, but can’t place what.
I freely admit, for instance, that when a friend of mine from adolescence told me of her life story, my first instinct was that my own life was a walk in the park—which wasn’t actually true, being a teenager I was stupid enough to believe I was doing better than I was, so I was foolishly accentuating symptoms of the real problem, while not being conscious of the actual problem at all. Which in itself is a sign of massive trauma, and points at what I wrote above, the inability to handle your own suffering because it far exceeds your capacity at a given age and mental stage to handle it.
That being said, I have a few friends who are considerably more dysfunctional than I am, and I acknowledge it’s because they’ve not only lived through things that were comparatively and in these areas, worse than what I’ve gone through in the same areas, but also because they’ve lived in those things longer than I have.
But before having seen it with my own two eyes, I had no idea about it. It took observing it personally, and learning about it personally, to see the scale and degrees.
This is an indirect subconscious technique because the subconscious takes over, with its invalidation, and becomes so unaware of its own actions, it doesn’t notice itself anymore. Its attempts at doing something and restoring wellness are done in an indirect way, because the real direct way is to simply speak directly.
This is where what some people label “trauma olympics”, comes in. Except instead of stifling people who do this, here are better alternatives.
Possible solutions:
- Make space for your own suffering. Dont function according to other people’s parameters or standards, and make conscious space for your suffering. That means do not stifle or quiet yourself because the room is too pathetic to receive you.
- Quit spending time with people who are erasing
- Find meaningful, key people to discuss your deep suffering with, so your story is known somewhere
- Go public with your suffering, so it is officially known to the world
- When publicly discussing your suffering, add a disclaimer that you understand that others are also suffering, in their own way, and in silence, and they are free to speak as well (which, by the way, if you are reading this post, are free to do in this post as well; free feel to drop down in the comments to talk about your own story).
The last piece of advice is done to no longer perpetrate lack of recognition of people’s suffering. Of course, it is entirely up to you if you implement it. But it may help to create a sense of togetherness, to acknowledge that everyone, is in fact, in the same boat, of having suffered gravely and horribly, and of needing to come out with it, to get recognition from other people.